#when canon proves too much of a heartache

[to-proudly-go]

Star Wars is making me delusional for happy endings more than ever and unfortunately I still don't have regrets. The absolute ache my heart goes through every time I stop and think about it in its entirety is phenomenal because how dare these characters from a galaxy far, far away give me pain

Sure we've got the Force and lightsabers and shiny armor and beautiful planets and I'm tickled pink by it all but no one warned me about the tragedy that threw me off the fucking rails with the speed of light

Because can you imagine cutting off the limbs of someone closer to you than a brother and a lover, the other half of your soul, and turning your back as he burns because you can't bring your lightsaber down and end his misery, you can't kill him, you spent years protecting him, fighting for him, keeping him close and not-close so he can find his happiness that the Code you are both bound to cannot give him as you willingly turn a blind eye, only to turn around and find that he has drifted too far and already completely out of your reach, and all you want to do is go back to the time when it's just the two of you, growing and learning together, watching each other's backs against blaster fire, when it was you and him against the world, not you and him against each other. You spend the next 19 years watching over the two stars that are the only parts left of the man you loved from different ends of the galaxy and learning to love them as themselves even as you see him and her in them and it makes you ache, makes you wish for simpler times as you stare down the red blade into red lenses hiding yellow eyes and you are tired, so tired with longing and pain and guilt for the monster you unknowingly helped create

And on the other hand can you imagine finding the child you thought you had lost along with the love of your life, the very people you burned the world for and you thought burned with it? The decades of anguish and anger all culminating to this moment, and instead of the joyous reunion you have always imagined in your weakest moments, it’s her familiar, beloved eyes doused in the color of the desert skies glaring at you with hate and fear as he hides his arm you ruined with your own Force-damned hands. You have loved this child from when he was just a dream whispered underneath the stars, feeling the warmth of twin suns burning in you as you imagine the weight of him (them, you are a father of two) in your arms, incandescent with the promise that you will protect the family you made, all the while forgetting the family you already had. Then you are on your back, electricity still crackling underneath your skin and robbing you of strength as you look at him with your own eyes for the first and last time, and there is forgiveness you didn't know you were looking for, and when you wake up again on the other side of the veil you hope you can find forgiveness there too

[ari-gami]

Punkflower

So I've been itching to make some Punkflower fanfiction but i'm not too sure about my writing skills, so I'll post the first chapter here before i commit to AO3.

Summary: Hobie doesn't like the way Gwen handled the situation with Miles, especially after getting to know the guy better. It was messed up, and their friendship is on tense terms. Miles is still reeling from the emotional whiplash from Gwen, one minute feeling betrayed to being thankful, but forgiving her will be hard and he doesn't know if their friendship will ever bounce back into what it was. Luckily he has someone who has had his back from day 1.

"I Don't Like Your Girlfriend"

“You really like this guy huh?”

“Oh my god, shut up Hobie!”

“ I will when ya shut up about that spider from 1610.”

Hobie could see the light blush on Gwen’s cheeks as she turned her head with a huff. It was a bit endearing how her face would scrunch up at the thought of her own feelings, but Hobie knew she wouldn’t allow herself to admit them.

“You know it’s not like that.”

“You care a lot about him, Gwendy, you can admit that much.”

“That’s the scary part, Hobie! I can’t see him again and admitting to myself that I could have..feelings for him would just cause me more heartache. Also, Miguel wouldn’t..” she trailed off.

Hobie had a bitter taste in his mouth. He’s aware of the underlying statement. Miguel already thinks Gwen’s a liability if anything involving Miles Morales occurred, and he would not hesitate to throw her back into the very situation he saved her from if she tried to contact Miles. Gwen would be alone again, and this time, permanently.

He sighed and thought of what he would do if he had such a deep connection to someone, if he had what Gwen had. It's not that he doesn't have anyone close to him, he had Gwen and his bandmates after all, but the way Gwen described her bond with Miles made Hobie ache for something similar. To have a connection forged in mutual hardship, where both parties come out as changed people. To meet and have an initial spark so strong that it would set fire to all aspects of his life afterward. 

             If Hobie had been in Gwen's shoes, he wouldn't have stayed away from Earth 1610. He would've disassembled the watch to reverse engineer one for himself and jump right through the portal back into Miles’s world. (Not that he wasn't working on it now, he hates the idea of multidimensional travel being monopolized.)

             But Gwen was in a delicate situation and right now craved approval from adult figure- that's where they differed. Hobie could tell that if she had to choose between Miles and the Society, she would most likely choose the Society. The idea of that made him a bit sick, knowing that Miles would be betrayed and alone if Gwen didn't play her cards right. He would be all alone, just like Gwen had been, and the worse part, he might never know of the betrayal.

           He would give her time to make her decision, but Hobie would also be making his own. If Miguel starts shit with Miles for being an anomaly, Hobie would be there to help him. If Miguel decided that shunning Miles wasn’t enough and actively went to attack him, Hobie would do everything he could to stop him. The idea that the Society is trying to squash out an outlier to defend the so-called canon went against everything Hobie stood for. 

He just hoped that if it ever came down to Gwen sticking with HQ and Hobie with Miles, their friendship could be salvaged.

           From what Gwen shared, Miles was the type of Spiderman who couldn't be held down when he made up his mind. When everyone ganged up on him, he found a way to prove to them that he was capable of lifting the mantle. (Not that Hobie approved of the other spiders' methods. Actually, he hated the thought of them refusing to help him at such a low point in his life. He truly believes that Miles didn't need to prove himself because, in Hobie's mind, he proved himself by instantly jumping to help send the other Spiders back.) Miles went against everything thrown at him saying he wasn't ready and instead defied the expectations and did it his own way.

            That's pretty punk of him.

[onebedtorulethemall]

Hi! I love your fics, TWR is one of my favorite coworker AUs to this day and BO deserves all the flowers it gets. I find it hard to leave comments sometimes as I’m reading since I usually need to chew on what I’ve read for a while to really decide what I want to say (and I never want to sound pushy for updates or whatever!), but I went back to leave a comment on one of your oneshots and found it deleted so that’s why I’m here. It was called A Life We Never Lived or something along those lines? The conversation you wrote between D/Hr involving the ring theory for grief literally lives in my brain. When Draco says something like “only you could create a system for grief and mismanage it”, maybe it was just a passing joke/throwaway line, but it felt so genuinely in character for both of them and really got to the core of why I love the Dramione dynamic in fics so much. Specifically post war/post canon with Hermione tackling her emotions with pure logic and not putting herself first, and Draco being kind of an ass but offering his own brand of support by recognizing shes struggling too and their sort of awkward kinship/healing together. It also just made me laugh out loud, your humor always comes through so well and that’s such a hard skill to develop! I know it wasn’t going to be overall lighthearted/HEA, but I loved what you had posted so far and just wanted to make sure you knew. Was there a reason you decided not to finish it/to delete it?

Ahaha! I really thought I'd gotten away with hiding that unfinished one-shot. It had all of 230 hits. Never in my wildest dreams did I think anyone would notice, let alone quote a line to me. Thank you, I'm incredibly flattered!

That poor fic was doomed from the start by an uncommitted author. The concept was to write a snapshot of their meeting on the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts every year for a decade, with letters exchanged between meetings, a secret relationship, heartache, and an eventual painful breakup. Sort of a "right person, wrong time" quiet tragedy. I posted the first 3k and struggled through another unposted 5k before I called it quits.

Actually, I did a little mental postmortem on it when I took it down, because it confirmed some things about myself as a writer that I thought were good lessons. So, here you go:

1. I need a plot before I start. I mean, I knew this, but now I *extra* know it. I had only a rough idea of where I was going, and that is not enough for me. A pantser I am not.

2. I have to finish a fic before I post it. My fics are usually 95-100% complete before I post, and this was the exception that proves the rule. I'm not sure why the post-as-you-go method doesn't work for me, but writing became instantly 100x harder once I'd posted part of it (which I only did because of the fest deadline).

3. I'm not really in control of the plot. To me, creating an outline is the process of discovering the story, as though I'm documenting something that has already happened. I always feel as though there's really only one way a story can go, once I know the characters. Well, I figured out pretty quickly once I belatedly started plotting that this one does NOT have an unhappy ending, but rather an angsty yet ultimately happy one. And this was for the UHEA fest, so...

4. Just because I want to read it doesn't mean I want to write it. I could have finished it with a HEA and removed it from the fest, but once I realized it was a quiet story about the slow unfolding of a relationship over the course of a decade, I'm afraid that was the end of it. I think it would have been an understated, bittersweet, character-centric little relationship study, but none of those things light up my genre fiction-loving brain. Love to read it, but I just can't find the spark to write it. And thus died my dreams of ever writing literary fiction (kidding, I never had those).

So that's the story! I dug up the part you mentioned and had a fun time rereading. I liked it way more than I remembered, and I'm sorry it won't come to fruition. If I knew how to get myself to write something I wasn't wholly invested in, I would absolutely finish it for you.

From "Scenes From a Life We Never Lived":

Thank you so much for this ask. Sometimes if I'm having a bad writing day or if the imposter syndrome is hitting, I like to pretend someone out there is laughing at some stupid joke I wrote (or, since finishing my gothic, is having a pleasant nightmare). Usually my brain tries to convince me this is impossible. I stockpile your kind words as evidence.

[stellarred]

I remember the TNG episode Cause and Effect, and how every time they repeated the loop, they became a bit more aware of what had happened until the problem was fixed.

I am unfortunately struggling a bit today with that post-ending scene between Q and Jack. Why would Q only appear to Jack? What is Jack's role in Q's cosmic scheme? Why couldn't Q have reappeared to Picard?

Given the fact that Patrick Stewart, Terry Matalas, and Co may not do a fourth season of PIC, and that Jack has taken over JLP's place in Trekdom, I am upset and depressed to think Q won't come back to Picard onscreen again.

But, knowing the Qcard force is strong, and that Q will see JLP "out there", there's no convincing me that Picard and Q will never end up together in eternity. Q loves him too much to just let Picard go and die. They end up together no matter what happens, or who Picard marries along the way.

I hate myself for investing emotionally in character ships, because I hate what writers do to them. That's why I don't watch lots of television shows, or movie franchises because of that one special pair of characters.

But, Qcard is very, very special to me. It provided me with a valuable source of relief and served as a good distraction late at night for almost three years after I had gone through a very difficult time in my life. My heart had been horribly betrayed so badly by people that I moved to the other side of the world to get away and heal. I got a good job abroad and stayed active, but there were times when my heartache caught up with me. I struggled with frequent ruminations of what had happened, and this was especially true late at night. Then I found out that Qcard was being taken seriously by STP writers. It made me happy and excited enough that it gave my mind something to think about and enjoy when I began to feel stressed again. I'd shipped Qcard for many years before then, but now, my favorite couple was back with a vengeance!

According to canon in my house, Q "died" in S2, but not before sending himself into the future to S3 to work with Jack, so that he could eventually serve as a conduit to his father's heart. Perhaps if Jack could ascend eventually to be with he and Picard, they could be a family!

I have always believed that Q had created a time loop in case Picard was unable to ascend. For example, in S2's Fly Me to the Moon, Q told Soong about "In 17 seconds, you are going to take a seat. Right on the tick!"

My take is that Qcard goes through TNG, STP S1 and S2, and after Q dies, Picard's relationship with Laris crumbles, and alone in his chateau, he eventually feels haunted by Q's absence (dreams, hearing whispers in the dark...). Picard goes on to rescue Q from wherever he's been. They have a committed relationship, get married, and live years of adventures in the universe together.

But, through a series of circumstances, Q is devastated to learn that the Continuum won't allow Picard to ascend. His capitaine's not ready. Meanwhile, Picard is aging and going to die.

Q uses a time loop to take them back to Encounter at Farpoint, and like Cause and Effect, Q has to re-teach Picard his lessons, and Q has to woo Picard all over again. Q has only a vague memory of his previous journey to marriage with Picard, while Picard doesn't remember at all.

This is also why a few Tumblrs suggested that Q and Picard are like "exes", which I don't like because that implies they didn't get along.

But, with each loop from TNG to STP S2, and the years after during their marriage, Picard learns more and proves himself worthy to join Q in eternity at last at some point.

I know people have excitement about this Legacy series that Terry Matalas is so gung-ho for. But, as far as Qcard goes, we don't know where that is going. Patrick Stewart said that they'd left "a few doors open" after S3, but I am tired of speculation.

Therefore, until a Tumblr mutual tries to excite me with real Qcard upcoming news-- because I'm not scouring any more ST news sources to get my hopes up anymore, my multiseries time loop is my canon.

I was grateful that Terry Matalas didn't ignore Q altogether, but I refuse to pay attention to any new Q character arcs. I mean, knowing our luck, Q will then be romantically involved with Deanna Troi!

So, I'm done.

My onscreen Qcard story ends at S2's Farewell, but my personal story with Q has, I believe, a FAR richer continuation.

I will say though, that Q looks damn sexy in that red cape.

[msfbgraves]

Y didnt daniel forgive terry when he forgave johnny mike chozen and also robby who lied and deceived him. y does terry not get forgiven and y is he the one who hurt daniel the most?? i feel like terry really actually liked daniel and hated that his insincere apology didnt get him daniels forgiveness so he now wants him 2 suffer

I think the same about Terry. He didn't mean to fall in love with Daniel but he did, and at first sight too. May have gone as far as to pay Mike off to fight fair against Daniel, but here Daniel comes and rejects him before he can. And then, years later, when Terry comes to him and apologises, he rejects him again. Not that complicated a situation. Terry does not stand for rejection. Danny boy gets a beating when he does that, then or now. It's simply not permitted. It could be so good between them if Danny simply accepted who is boss. He literally says it. "You got your ass kicked, Danny boy. You can either accept that, or I can kick it again, right now."

(Shipping goggles on perhaps but there is nothing in canon that disputes it.)

But what Terry did to Daniel is far more complicated, and far more harmful. Daniel is an extremely trusting, open hearted boy. And Terry took that openness and loyalty and, yes, love and twisted it to make Daniel harm himself, Mr. Miyagi, Jessica even. The idea that Robby could have done something like that again - got close to him as a trick to use that trust and warmth against him - makes him fly off the handle completely. Worse, Terry nurtured something in him that was always there ("why didn't you kill him?" at Miyagi after his first tournament), forced him to really feel it, acknowledge it, and now Daniel hates a part of himself. Terry is right that he didn't put it there, but he did bring it out in all its destructiveness. Daniel nearly killing Kreese at the end of S3? That was nurtured by Terry. Of course Daniel does not forgive him. It would mean reconciling with that part of himself, and he can't.

Maybe after S5, when he integrates Terry's teachings into his overall caring philosophy during their fight, that may be different. It may even help him bond with Anthony, who admires the side of Daniel he himself has learnt to fear so much after Terry.

What Terry put him through was so infinitely deeper and more formative than what Terry went through - although I think Daniel rubbed off on him, if his heartache made him go: "I need to go green and get my ass into therapy!" And boy does it sting when Daniel does not acknowledge that work at all. He's a philantropist now! An environmentalist! A vegan! He's nice goddammit, there's articles in Business Management to prove it! What else can a man do?!

[battleforwarriorcats]

bfw!hawkfrost talk

"She remembered saving him as a kit. She then remembered his mother and who she was with. Then she remembered the gentle look of relief he had when she returned. Hawkfrost didn’t remind her of Tigerstar."

now this is going to be a post about me discussing my thoughts/interpretations of hawkfrost's character in the battle for warriors crossover fic. in no way shape or form will he be slightly close to the canon books other than events that happened in his youth / relationships (just a warning for anybody coming in here crossoverblind being like "Wtf")

i have plenty of THOUGHTS so putting it under a cut haha.

*includes a bit of spoilers for "a shadow in riverclan" as well as the fanfic, ships lost at sea.

in SLAS and the crossover canon specifically, hawkfrost is still the son of tigerstar and sasha. he is still mothwing's and tadpole's littermate with the latter still dying the usual way (via drowning oops).

also sasha still brought them to riverclan where they stayed together for a bit. leopardstar is still pressuring/bugging sasha to get a warrior's name and become apart of the clan officially and out of fear of shadowclan recognizing her, she leaves the clan as well as her kits.

also the feathertail/sasha friendship still happened as well as the sudden break between them once feathertail found out that tigerstar is her kits' fathers.

in "a shadow in riverclan", the vibe i got was that feathertail becomes disinterested in both mothpaw and hawkpaw. why this is relevant is because feathertail promised sasha that she'd look after her kits (before the tigerstar confession thing as well feathertail saving hawkpaw from drowning).

pre SLAS (and in this crossover in general), feathertail still keeps a watchful eye over hawkpaw and mothpaw even if tigerstar is their father. sure, she's angry at sasha back then because how could anyone love a monster like him, but she can't bring herself to be mad at the kits.

she continues to play with them, watch them grow, advises them as best as she can (her, stormfur, and mistyfoot would be the few that can even somewhat relate to hawkpaw and mothpaw as they all aren't fully riverclan). her motivation behind this is because they're only apprentices. they barely became apprentices when sasha left riverclan. they don't even know their father was a bad person; their only parent straight up abandoned them and they don't know why.

considering feathertail's own background (her birth mother died in childbirth and while graystripe was in riverclan temporarily, he was exiled by leopardstar because he couldn't bring himself to fight against his own clan. all of this happening when she was a kit too), there's no way she'd be able to abandon hawkpaw and mothpaw the same way. it leads to heartache, it leads to wondering if one was "good enough", it sets up a cat for failure. she's aware of this as her surrogate mother, mosspelt, tried her damn hardest to give her and her brother as much support as she could. because of mosspelt's kindness, feathertail pays it forward.

this means that hawkpaw's biggest support system was feathertail. sasha left him, but it was feathertail that stepped up to fill that role. she saved his life after all. leopardstar, as a mentor, had high exceptions for him but it was to feathertail he could always go back to for a sense of comfort and safety.

feathertail's personality really protects him at his most vulnerable where he could have gotten the wrong idea that a strong cat was one who showed no mercy. a strong cat wouldn't die from drowning (his brother, tadpole) and could shred an entire clan (to prove himself worthy despite his rogue lineage). he learns its okay to lean on others / when to be aggressive yet when to be kind / to be brave against injustice. unlike his canon counterpart, his motives are because he cares about those closest to him.

he fakes the moth wing sign so that his sister could become a medicine cat when mudfur was hesitant. he wanted her to achieve her true calling even if that was different from his initial hope of them both being warriors.

when feathertail is chosen to go to the Sundrown Place, he is fearful. he worries this might be a repeat of his own mother; he'd never see her again. he keeps a straight face on the outside, but inside he is screaming at StarClan why they had to pick her for a long journey. he wants her back safe and sound and has faith in stormfur to keep his promise about them both coming back in one piece.

as a warrior, he protects feathertail as fiercely as she did when he was a 'paw. he's willing to go toe to toe against his father in cat hell and once feathertail becomes attached to bottle/clearpaw, he's also quick to protect her too. feathertail, clearpaw, and mothwing still remain as the closest family he has left.

at the end of SLAS, sasha returns with a new kit. i won't explain much here since this is involved in my future plans for this crossover, but it's definitely an interesting area for me to explore the theme of family for someone like hawkfrost.

tl;dr: hawkfrost is a nice guy in the crossover because feathertail continued to be influential in his formative years, preventing him from following the same path of evil as his father.

[maythevoidnotscreamback]

Story idea: Dark!Serenity - Ep 34 Rewrite

I've thought of another Darkity idea! Because I really hated when those authors who attempted the whole 'Usa's been kidnapped and brainwashed' bit in place of Mamo didn't commit to the angst and heartache in regards to her friends and lover. That Usa didn't stay corrupted for more than a few scenes or chapter or two, her inherent goodness and/or love purifying/cleansing herself in one way or another, to fight against her loved ones. And I get it, I do, she's too pure for the world at fourteen years old, but still - give me the delicious drama! And I believe I've thought of a plausible way for there to be a reason for the prolonged corruption with this bit of backstory.

The Nijizuishou have combined to form the Ginzuishou but Zoi reacts too fast for the Princess's reveal to happen immediately after. SM is sent flying from TK when she goes to stand as in canon with one of Zoi's crystals embedded in her chest and promptly loses consciousness or, for all intents and purposes, dies. The Crystal, reacting to its wielder's emotions before they shut down, enters TK's body to begin healing him (to which I mean, boost the Kinzuishou's own healing abilities, because the Ginzuishou cleanses, purifies and empowers or, if anything, returns one's state to a previous one as needed/wished for but it doesn't actually heal, without outright bringing it out of its own dormant state; because I'm of the opinion that if Mamo can support Usa with her Crystal she can support him with his) but leave Zoi and Kunz unable to take him because the Senshi saw where the Crystal went, even though they have no idea why, and surround him to keep him safe so they take SM since she's the Finisher, the Powerhouse, the Leader.

But! While the Crystal isn't quite sentient, it's still not just gonna let its true wielder die. What makes Usa Usagi is within the Crystal through her tear, which itself is safe within Mamo's heart and its partner Crystal, while her corpse is being revived and going to be used as a puppet for the DK's purposes as is implied what happened with Endou in the Manga but she'd be a bit more like Dendy of the 90s anime in that she can transform into New Moon. She's black where she used to be white, dark colors where used to be bright, and her brooch black/silver where once it was pink/gold and the gems/colors of her fellow senshi have been replaced with Zoisite, Jadeite, Kunzite and Nephrite in their respective spots. You can decide whether New Moon revives the fallen Shittenou because she feels she can be a better Queen than Beryl and would prove it to Metallia by killing her and usurping her 'throne' after suborning her dead and alive Generals to her side by use of respect regarding one's authority, abilities, power and a show of ruthlessness they can display rather than gain loyalty by using fear and hurt and death because one's not being blindly obedient. Or it's simply Metallia herself marrionetting her enemy's reincarnated daughter's body and seeing how powerful she is and what she can do without realizing who she's marrionetting.

Meanwhile, Mamo remembers his past and, more importantly, Serenity and who she is to him, his Usako, but the girls and cats - only bits and pieces of the Manga canon apply here - don't. They're willing to protect and work with him now that he has the Crystal inside him (not that he's all that happy about that since he remembers how they all, sans SM since V and Artie don't count as they're new to the group) treated him before the Crystal made its appearance, but they still need to find their Princess to get it back and wield it to save the world; their Princess who can't possibly be that stupid, clumsy, gluttonous Odango Atama.

V's obviously not of the same, harsh opinion as Mars, or as critical in her thinking of SM's abilities (or lack thereof) as Merc and J might be, but it's not like she's been around long enough to know much more about her Leader before she was killed. Something Mamo's not wanting to listen to because he knows she's still alive; how can you be so cold about her possible death?! She's a Senshi, so her duty to protect Crystal and Princess came first; they didn't know what she was going to do when the Crystal appeared as she'd been killed before she could do it, and it was tragic all the same, but still. And what about her friends, her family?! They can be made to forget so that they don't have to grieve a girl that was destined for things they didn't understand or need to get involved in.

It's strange to Mamo days later, his Usako erased from existence from all who once knew and loved her bar him, he wasn't willing to add the Senshi to the list for what they've done, that he had yet to be attacked despite Zoi calling him out over the TV in his apartment, not knowing that the Crystal was hiding him. The Dark Kingdom knows TK is Dymi reborn but Mamoru Chiba being TK just doesn't register with them anymore, the only one of the DK who can see him out of his tux is the one called Rin (and no, that's not a typo; she's called Rin in the DK, not Ren because they don't know she's the reincarnated Serenity but they still had to call her something) and she's not registering the two as one and the same either. The heartache, and deep vindication, he feels when a certain Tiara grazes him, or loops around him in a bind, while he's fighting against the energy gathering youma he's discovered at his hair dresser's salon for his regular trimming as he sees gold pigtail streamers. He knew it! He knew she was alive! She's alive and she's here, her fuku's looking weird he realizes as his magic dissipates the glamour field surrounding her but she's healthy and alive and... his enemy? Wait, what?

You should know the drill by now if you've read any of my other Story Ideas. You don't have to use said idea word for word, just please let me know what it's called when you've posted and where I can find it. Thank you and stay safe.

[2bu]

I'll try to be brief but a major reason I love All Might so much is because I see a lot of myself in him and I recognize like... how much of himself he's dedicated to others and how that has quite literally been a detriment to himself, his life, and overall health. No one seems to really acknowledge or talk about it, but All Might by all accounts, is disabled.

Especially now, after fighting AFO these past two times. He is sick, and dying. And yet... he still shows the fuck up for his students, for the people, for the world even though he has ALL the right to retire comfortably and not give an actual fuck anymore. But he over exerts himself and chooses not to do that, and genuinely gives a shit about society as a whole. About people. He clearly sees the good in people and CARES.

What bothers me so much about fanon interpretations is the disservice they do to his literal character and how they make him out to be some misogynistic daddy dom who WEIRDLY wants to victimize others/his literal own students (YUCK). Like those interpretations, regardless of anyone's justifications for it, just go against canon and how he actually is.

I see so much of myself in this guy! I have hardly any idea what's wrong with me, but I'm sick, and god knows I'm running on borrowed time but Can't... do anything much about it without income and without proper insurance. But still, I go on, because I care about my partner and my friends and my younger siblings. I support so many people endlessly because I love them and want to do so of my own free will. All Might proves to me that despite my conditions I can still do some good in this world even if it's the little things. He represents to me, the goodness of humans and the undying human spirit. The endless push of good humans and humanity itself. All Might shows me that not all superheroes that I'm used to are all white shitty edgy millionaire bad boys or whatever the fuck DC and Marvel are on these days.

I don't like superheroes much at all but All Might to me is a breath of fresh air and a game changer when it comes to superheroes even if he's like, a huge parody of sorts regarding superheroes. He's a disabled guy who came from nothing who wanted to be a hero who helped people. He loved and cherished his predecessor, who was a WOMAN. He sacrificed a normal life, kind of like how she did too! Which is tragic. All Might's legacy won't necessarily be that of a traditional father or anything like that, but I can't begin to imagine like. Potential heartache he might have endured/continues to endure as a part of being a hero, of being the symbol of peace. Like he's unmarried. Doesn't have a family. Openly refused to retire after his first BIG battle with AFO. It's lonely being him and god knows I kinda get it! I long to know who all might really is when he's not a hero, a teacher, a symbol of peace. That aspect fascinates me.

i just AAAAUGHHHHH

okay but the real question is which all might do you prefer? all might or small might????

I wish I could say both but the answer lies in my discord icon/profile: small might 🥺🥺🥺 i know I don't NEED to justify why I enjoy him so much as small might but it's actually for some pretty Big Reasons:tm: I could probably find my rant about it From a few months ago or just rehash it here at some point but I'm also shy and embarrassed still that MHA became an interest of mine 😭

[sugarcubetikki]

I’m going to analyse all three characters involved in the love triangle based on their personal needs and wants as well as their relationship dynamics linked to some of the themes of the show to prove that byler is the best endgame narrative.

will - his personal arc has always focused on acceptance and gaining love. his sexuality has always been a huge part of the show too and we can see how it makes him feel like he’s different, a mistake, how he’s  social outcast in a way just because he likes different things to other people and how he’s had to undergo so much homophobic bullying from school and pressures to conform mainly from his dad (a lot of his childhood trauma starts from the way Lonnie treating him and made him feel like an outcast for not liking socially normative things). a big part of his arc has always been finding people in his life who accept him for who he is and people who make him feel loved - it’s key for him to stay strong and overcome his trauma and that’s why support systems are so important for will’s character which is why he felt so isolated and heartbroken when he felt neglected in s3. his love for mike also has always been there as a layer under all his character intentions okay and it’s so deep. he loves mike to the point he’d sacrifice his own feelings for mike and el’s happiness even if it’s hurting him. also the fact that he’s thought about having a future with mike through “wanting to play d&d with him for the rest of his life” and it’s also a canonical fact that will needs mike only because he loves him too (not that el needs mike as it’s will’s truth) and that mike makes will feel better for who he is thus he makes him feel safe and that he’s always given will the strength and courage to fight on. will’s love for mike/beautiful bond with mike is beneficial for his character arc as it makes him feel safe, comfortable and accepted. when finn said, will’s love for mike is beautiful he wasn’t lying, it is beautiful. i can’t even comprehend why they’d build it up like this so much if they were only going to have will get rejected or not do byler it would be pointless buildup and focusing so much over will’s feelings towards mike and his heartache to the point they focused on will over milkvan this season is just so insane they intentionally wanted the audience to feel and root for will. if he doesn’t a happy ending, it would be dreadful and all this buildup being thrown away would be pointless especially when his love for mike/bond with mike complements with his arc so perfectly. 

el - her arc is about becoming her own person: discovering her own needs and wants, finding strength in herself to stand up to those who try to control her, ultimately it’s about el embracing her own personal freedom. it’s also about el finding a home, finding family and finding people who’ll love el for who she is and let her be herself instead (similar to will).. a lot of her relationships are the ones that line up with her arc and contribute to her character growth as her arc is focused on people loving el for who she is and enabling her to grow as a character by offering her that personal freedom. at the start, mike and el’s arcs did align and mike truly did make el feel safe and loved for the first time in her life after how much brenner controlled and abused her in the past it was refreshing for el to receive that kind of love. mike is an important person in el’s life but he’s also the first person to make el feel loved and el still had no idea what she wanted then and no idea what love was so she was entering a romantic relationship way too quickly at that point. during the time of the kiss she’s surprised and a bit confused as she is with everything she’s not wrapped her head around it she was asking him whether they were like brother and sister. as the show progresses el builds bonds with more people and so many more people are important in el’s life in addition to that milkvan’s romantic relationship is just a disaster and it’s just not working out. furthermore, it becomes clearer as the show goes on that her attachment to mike weakens as more people enter her life and when talking about mike romantically she’s very unsure about the state/the future of their relationship. when she’s with max she seems interested in the prospect of having other boyfriends/liking other boys and she calls mike her “first boyfriend” too. there’s not a sense of forever established like it is with will. it’s never been implied not even once that el can see a future with her and mike - I do think it’s largely because el’s figuring out who she is and hasn’t come to terms with that yet so seeing a future can be difficult for her but she definitely does express that desire of dating more people in the future and that she doesn’t see mike as the one for her anything like that. I mean she is a bit upset when max calls mike her ex boyfriend but I think that term just alludes to the fact she’s afraid of losing mike in general. el can see herself in other romantic relationships in the future but she’s afraid because she feels that not being in a relationship with mike means that they won’t need and love each other anymore so they’ll lose each other. she wants mike in her life and doesn’t want to lose him but at that point she was in that position where she felt like she had to be in a romantic relationship with mike for him to love and need her (same with mike) when in reality they’ll still love and need each other even if it’s not romantically they won’t lose each other. I think el realises that more this season as her arc is more about self-growth, finding love and strength from within herself. she’s definitely pulled away from mike romantically at least in my eyes she’s realising that she needs and wants him in her life but not romantically because when they’re in a romantic relationship they don’t work out. she feels like she has to live up to a standard for him and she lies to do that even though she hates it and she feels like mike’s not offering her the love she wants/needs at the start of the season (because he’s going through his own thing) so she feels unloved by him and she doesn’t tell him things because she feels like he doesn’t understand her too. el wants to be loved by mike but she won’t be in a romantic relationship with him if she’s not getting the love she wants like this. it’s better off for her to escape a relationship that’s making her unhappy and like. el loves mike but not romantically she doesn’t need him romantically and the show has established it too - them breaking up is a better move for her ac.

mike - he’s a difficult one but his arc has always been focused around his desire to be being needed. his saviour complex is his way of expressing that need and proving his worth. a lot of that seems to root from his insecurities about being unwanted as he seems to feel unworthy and not special and just like some random nerd as he put it. he loves being a nerd and loves playing d&d of course but I feel like he thinks that it’s nothing special and maybe that’s all there is to him and that he isn’t good enough for anyone thus he wants to be needed and wants to prove himself worthy. he also hates being alone and he’s afraid of losing people in his life. I think that fear has been strengthened throughout the course of the show due to traumatically losing both el and will because of the ud and therefore there’s a lot of focus around his relationships with those two mainly (as well as the love triangle aspect). like I mentioned with el, in s1/2 before they started dating their relationship worked well together and it was satisfying both their character needs/wants. when mike lost will, he was clearly having a hard time coping, and he did not want to accept that will was gone, he always had hope that will was out there somewhere and that he was going to find him. mike’s not the best with introspecting his own emotions and he doesn’t really reflect back on them he seems to be type of person who projects everything he’s feeling onto action, onto doing other things and onto other people. when el came into his life, he’d lost will, and el needed someone as mike himself put it so mike became that person el needed and was one of the first people to show her compassion and make her feel special for who she was instead of an experiment in a lab (these are mike’s words too and they’re truer than that entire monologue because they can be backed up!). the truth of the matter is mike needed el in that moment too, he needed someone to impress as Finn would put it and he just needed someone to need him because will wasn’t there anymore. will not being there is important because will has always been there for mike and will was mike’s first friend and he has always made mike feel less alone. as mike would put it, asking will to be his friend was the best thing he’s ever done. hawkins isn’t the same without will to mike even to this day as will has always made mike feel needed and loved and wanted (he’s singled out from max, lucas and dustin too). with will gone, mike had an empty hole in his heart and mike was trying to fill that in through finding will and also caring for el or impressing el. I’m not saying mike didn’t truly care for el or anything definitely not all I’m saying is that during the time of s1 el and mike needed each other for very particular reasons and it doesn’t stay true throughout the seasons. el gains her own autonomy and more people become important to her and make her feel special other than mike and mike feels distanced/disconnected from el throughout her entire journey. at the time of s4, there’s a disconnection between them because mike’s still connected to the el from s1 that needed someone back in those woods he found her in but the truth and reality of the situation is that el has grown and changed as a person so much that she’s not the same person who needs mike in that way anymore. as el grew as a person, she felt unreachable to mike (her lying in those letters about her fake glorified life didn’t help) and that’s why he feels like she doesn’t need him anymore and he’s right. his insecurities come in here about being afraid of losing her due to the fact that she doesn’t need him anymore. I think like I mentioned for el, mike believes that not being in a romantic relationship with el means that he’ll lose her entirely and they won’t love and need each other anymore when that’s simply not the case. you can see the effect that heteronormativity has on the perception of their relationship and I think that’s also the reason mike perceived their bond in s1 as romantic because if we take my reading that mike was somewhat subconsciously filling the empty hole in his heart that will left through el then he’s sorta piggybacked his romantic feelings for will onto el but he didn’t really realise he was doing that because of heteronormativity. for me it’s still unclear if he truly liked el or not I believe it’s possible that maybe he did like her like maybe it was a puppy crush as the duffers put it but I still believe his deeper romantic feelings were piggybacked. it’s funny because it could be a stretch but he’s still doing it in s4 to this day it’s just gotten clearer that monologue is just him piggybacking off of will’s coded confession. I think at this point and stage though el doesn’t need mike like that and never did and the reason why mike feels like he has to pretend around her and keep pretending is because he can’t be natural around her. their romantic relationship is full of lies, facades and superficiality is because mike can’t be natural around el, he has to pretend and he’s trying to fit a framework that he can’t fit. mike in s3 was just him trying to be a good boyfriend and failing because of how staged and unnatural it was. he was going off being a good boyfriend very logically like he was taking advice from lucas and trying to follow rulebook instead of just being himself. however that’s the problem he can’t be himself because he doesn’t love el romantically and didn’t want to confront that. since it’s not addressed in s3, that patterns of behaviour continues in s4 into the airport scene where he’s still wearing a facade and still trying to be a good boyfriend, but he’s gotten even more cold and disconnected. their fight when el points out how mike never says it and never writes it is because he can’t he just can’t because he doesn’t love her in that way. when that fight happens, he’s back at will’s side, and his relationship with will is such a contrast to how he is with el. he can open up to will and be himself around him. will is one of the only people mike is vulnerable around. will makes mike feel comfortable and safe enough to do that and we know that the feeling is mutual. the coded confession getting through to mike is important because we as an audience know that those are will’s feelings and everything he’s saying resonates with mike so so much because it’s exactly what he wants. he’s looking for it in el but he can’t find it in her because they don’t romantically love each other in ways that the other desires. they don’t speak the same love languages and hold the same romantic priorities but mike and will do. however it’s like mike thinks those are el’s feelings so he’s responding to them and feeling them during the monologue it’s another piggybacked situation here where he thinks he loves el but it’s will instead. I think throughout the course of this season or maybe the hiatus between s3 and 4 - his feelings for will have started to dawn on him (because there is no other explanation for his strange behaviour). I feel like he’s in a similar position to nancy in s2 with steve and jonathan. st*ncy and milkvan are the safe options that parallel ted and karen wheeler (arranged loveless marriage) that mike and nancy feel like they needed to conform to - they saw them as the ideal relationships they grasped onto and refused to let go of because they’re the safe options and they try to convince themselves that they do love steve/el despite knowing deep down in their hearts that they don’t they love someone else. this got very long but mike needs and loves el just not romantically but he keeps trying to convince himself he does and it always come out so unnatural because of that as he’s trying to conform to something he isn’t. in a show about embracing yourself for who you are and being social outcasts let’s say maybe he shouldn’t be in the relationship that he’s not himself in. when he’s with will, it’s the opposite, he can truly be himself around will and everything with will is so natural. will makes him feel less alone and his desire to be needed is effortless around will because he doesn’t have to live up to certain standard to appease will he doesn’t have to impress will he can just be himself around will and will would need mike in any shape or form because it’s clear that will loves him for who he is. 

in conclusion, to fit the show’s theme of defying forced conformity and loving people for who they are, byler endgame would make the most sense because mike and will can be themselves around each other, they love one and other for who they are and milkvan is also just a product of heteronormativity - an example of forced conformity and a restraint in mike and el’s arcs so them being endgame when their relationship is so unnatural would go against all the themes of the show. 

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

Hidden Marks

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x Reader

Request:  Hii! If you still taking request I want ask for an soulmate au with Elijah, where which one of them have the same mark. He and his soulmate are very good friends for a long time and never have thought about this, but someday he see her mark and find out about this but don't tell her for being afraid of hurting her because of his family -Anon

Word Count: 1.6K

Warnings: Tad bit of angst, mentions of blood, but that's canon at this point.

Author’s Note: I apologize that this wasn't out earlier today. But there was some things in it that were bugging me and I just couldn't let it post without fixing it! It's still the 7th for me so this is your fic for the day! I hope you guys enjoy it!

Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. ♥

“Oh come on,” Y/N said as she turned and faced Elijah as a smile pulled at her lips. “Are you really telling me that you’ve given up on looking?”

Elijah shook his head slightly as he let a huff of air past his lips. “For as many times as you’ve tried to persuade me to find who my soulmate is, my answer has remained the same.”

“Deep down I don’t think you mean it.” Y/N said with a slight tilt of her head. “You give the advice of your best friend ‘needing’ to find who she is ‘destined’ to be with, but you wont take your own advice or mine for that matter.”

When Elijah was younger, he believed that Soulmates finding each other was something magical. He may have lived with his mother who was a witch, and even a few of his brothers, but this was different. Elijah could remember the stories some of the villagers told him about how they found their soulmates. That the marks they were born with would match the person they were meant to be with.

Elijah had hoped that his soulmate would come along and he’d get to experience that kind of magic that he witnessed. He wondered who his soulmate was. How he would meet them and when they would realize who they were to each other. But when Henrik died, Elijah had felt his opportunity to meet his soulmate had been lost the moment he became a vampire.

The magical feeling he once believed in had been diminished over time. As the centuries had passed Elijah had never once met someone who he would ever be his soulmate. That there was no longer someone out there that would share the same mark as he did. As the years passed, the thoughts of a soulmate had all but diminished.

Elijah’s mark had been just below his left clavicle. The mark is a few shades darker than his skin tone. An intricate design of three circles intertwined in a horizontal line. His clothing always covering the mark from everyone around him. So long as it was covered, he wouldn’t be asked about it.

At least that was until Y/N came into his life. The vampire may have been several centuries younger than him, but they had become close friends over the past century. Elijah had met her during his time away from Klaus. The need to be away from his brother for a while had proved to be much needed. And when he met Y/N there didn’t seem to be anyone else better to spend his time with.

But during that time, he never mentioned what his mark looked like, let alone asked her what her mark looked like. Y/N was like Elijah in some ways. She once believed that soulmates were like fairytales. But when she turned, the notion of having her soulmate found had diminished.

“Was it not just a few hours ago that you reminded me that you’d rather not find them?” Elijah asked as he watched her.

The smile she had on her face faded slightly. “I have my reasons.” she shrugged slightly. “I may change my mind if I see you find yours.”

A light chuckle passed Elijah’s lips as he began walking down the pathway they stopped in moments before. “I wouldn’t hold your breath.”

There were several more conversations similar to that between them. But no matter how many times each of them brought it up, they both believed that they didn’t want to know who their soulmate was. They were content with their lives and it avoided the disappointment if their soulmates were human and lost some time ago. This way, there wouldn’t be heartache.

_____

“Elijah?” Y/N called out as she struggled to keep herself steady as she walked into the compound. She hadn’t ever expected to go to Elijah when she had been injured. But she needed help this time. Someone had attempted to shoot a wooden bullet at her and it was currently lodged in her back.

In a blink of an eye, Elijah was in front of her taking in her appearance. His eyes had widened as he helped her over to a seat in the courtyard. “What happened.” He asked as he took note of the current bullet holes in her shirt.

“Oh you know, failed attempt at making friends.” She tried to brush off the pain that was currently radiating through her. “ I just need you to help take one of them out. The others were easy to do. But this one is lodged in there.”

Elijah moved behind her as came to take note of where she had been speaking about. There had been a tear in her shirt from the attempt to make the bullet hole bigger to get the wooden bullet out. He could see the healed spots from the others that she had been able to take out.

It was as he moved the fabric aside to begin pulling the bullet out that he noticed the mark right above it. He stopped for a moment as he took in the horizontal circles that were intertwined. For as many times as he had seen his own mark, it was replicated on Y/N’s skin.

Y/N could feel how he hesitated; she looked over her shoulder at him. “What is it?”

Elijah shook his head slightly. “I believe that is the first time I’ve seen your mark.” He said before he began to poke and prod at the bullet hole.

She hissed as she felt him digging into her skin and muscle. “There’s a first for everything.”

Y/N knew that while they had joked and pressed the other to go in search of their soulmates, they never once actually saw each other’s mark. For the century and a half that she had known Elijah, she had never once seen Elijah’s mark, just as he hadn’t seen hers until this moment.

Elijah hadn’t said anything in response. If anything he was letting his mind go over everything the last several centuries had shown him. He had been at his lowest, the lowest that he could be as a Vampire, when Y/N had entered his life. They had gotten along so well during that time that Elijah just considered it them having a lot in common.

“I take it now that you’ve seen it, you’re going to go on a mission to find my soulmate for me?” She asked a moment later, hoping to fill the air with voices instead of the sound of blood and muscle being messed with.

“I thought you disagreed with that plan.” Elijah tried to keep his voice normal as he talked with her.

As much as seeing the mark should have made him happy, that he should have stopped right then and there and told her what it was that he realized, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. It had nothing to do with the bullet that he was now pulling out from her back. If that had been the case, he’d tell her the moment he watched her skin begin to heal before his eyes.

“Oh, I do.” Said with a nod as rolled her shoulders, stretching out the muscles of her back where the bullet had been moments before. “That doesn’t mean it will stop you from doing it.”

Her words had caused him to chuckle as he pulled out his handkerchief and began cleaning his hands of her blood. She turned towards him in her seat, watching as he tossed the bullet onto the table a moment later.

“I have no intentions of seeking someone out that you do not wish to meet.” He noted with a nod of his head as he looked over at her. Even after getting into some trouble, she still looked as if she could still take on the world.

There was something in her eyes that changed a moment after his words had pierced the air. “Would you tell me if you saw the mark on someone else?”

“Of course.” He said even though it had been a lie. He knew he wasn’t going to speak of the very mark that was on his chest.

As much as Elijah wanted to express every thought he was having at the moment, he couldn’t allow himself too. Not with the past that he had. Not when there were multiple reasons why he didn’t want her to know.

Not to mention the track record he had with the women in his life. While one would argue that it was all meant to lead up to him meeting Y/N, Elijah knew that even she wasn’t immune to the darkest parts of his family or even himself.

He watched as she stood up from her seat. “Thank you for helping me with that.” She gestured to the bullet. “Would I be able to interest you in a little night hunt?”

There was a smirk pulling at her lips, one that Elijah couldn’t stop one from forming on his own. She was offering him a night of catching those that attempted to harm her. Between the two of them, the sport of keeping each other and his family had been a game of keeping score. His head nodded in agreement at the thought of helping her.

He always promised to help keep her safe. And it was as they began leaving the compound that Elijah realized in order to do so, he was going to have to keep his mark hidden from her.

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[edasnest]

Might you have any Raeda headcanons you'd be willing to share?

Oh shit I didn’t see that you sent this to me until now oh man.

But you better believe I’ve got some Raeda headcanons >:D

[Spoilers for Eda’s Requiem and Knock Knock Knockin on Hooty’s Door! Also a little bit of a character study regarding those eps lol]

Raine is constantly in awe of Eda. Eda’s desire to learn every kind of magic and buck tradition and societal norms sometimes leaves them breathless. When they were young, Raine always admired Eda for the clever pranks she’d pull using different kinds of magic despite being in the potions track. They also admired Eda’s boldness when it came to standing up for herself and her sister.

Eda found Raine to be interesting considering they were in the bard track despite their stage fright, but once Eda watched them perform and saw how they’d lose themself in the music was, no pun intended, magical. They had a fierce grip on Eda’s heart and she didn’t know why; she was fascinated by Raine and made it her goal to be best friends with this oddly shy bard (which she achieved pretty quickly).

After Eda’s curse caused her to unintentionally disable her dad, she was terrified of what it would mean if she was caught off guard like that again. So she started putting up walls. No stressful situations, no hard conversations, no sudden bright lights or loud sounds that she wasn’t the cause of. If she could be in control of her surroundings, she could control the Owl Beast. The elixir she’d discovered that could keep the curse’s side effects at bay helped maintain her sanity and her chill demeanor, but Raine was able to tell she was always slightly on edge. Raine knew about the curse; after Eda had transformed on the Grudgby field the first time everyone had been talking about it, but they didn’t know the extent of it. Everyone just said she’d turned into a monster and then fled; but what kind of monster?? But every time Raine tried to get more information about it, Eda would brush it off and change the subject. It broke their heart watching Eda brush off something that was clearly bothering her, and eventually it all came to a head. She was lying more and more often to Raine and they just couldn’t take it anymore. What happened to their best friend??? Why would she lie to them????? It was maddening and all the frustration and aching in their heart became too much. They needed to focus on something other than Eda. They weren’t nearly as bold as Eda, even after all these years, so they joined the Bard Coven in order to start teaching and building a career for themself. They’d happily welcome Eda back if she’d just tell them what was going on. But it never happened. Burying themself into their work and then, eventually, into the BAtTs helped keep the heartache at bay, but only sometimes.

Eda and Raine caught glimpses of each other as the years passed. They’d spot one another in the market or Raine would see a flash of unmistakable ginger hair dashing around a corner; sometimes they’d hear Eda yelling at some Coven guards and quietly hope she’d make her escape. Eda would occasionally see posters advertising a performance starring Raine; she’d either buy a ticket or sneak in just to listen to them play again. She could never stay for very long though because listening to them play made her heart hurt so much she’d be at risk of turning into the Owl Beast. Raine grabbed one of Eda’s wanted posters and keeps it hidden under some other paperwork in their desk, pulling it out sometimes and going over every detail of the artist’s rendition of her. One day, a new wanted poster came out - this one with a weird skull dog now part of the image and the bounty having increased significantly. Raine would always smirk whenever they saw the new version, although they were alarmed the first time they saw her drawn with all-grey hair. When had that happened? They weren’t that old yet, right??

The day Eda saved the BAtTs and figured out Raine’s secret was maybe the best day Raine had had in years. Their best friend was talking to them again, helping them with their plot. Raine didn’t bother pushing Eda about the last 20 years; their last conversation proved enough that Eda didn’t like it when people pried. But Eda had become not just older, but so much more kind and open. To a degree that sort of shocked Raine. When they asked Eda if she had nothing to lose and Eda took their hand, it was like they’d gone back in time. As if they were both 20 again and daydreaming about a world they’d create for themselves where covens weren’t there to shackle witches down and stage fright didn’t exist; where Eda’s curse never happened and they could stay there on that hill forever.

Eda of course was warring with her own emotions during all of this; she was under the impression that everyone in her life was leaving her again. And not because she was pushing them away this time, but of their own volition. She got her big sister back only for her to go back home to their parents after just a few weeks. She overheard King talk about leaving to find his dad and her apprentice - the first person to ever break down all of Eda’s defenses and show her how to love again - was constantly working on ways to go back to her own home. Eda would be left with Hooty and Owlbert and absolutely nobody else and that hurt so much more than she cared to admit. So when Raine showed up in the town square with their BAtT mask on, using their magic to turn some coven guards into bumbling fools, Eda was a little shell-shocked. The first person to leave her of their own volition was right there in front of her and needed help. So she helped them. And when she became invested in their plots to free wild witches, she felt like she was a teenager again, plotting out pranks with Raine in her secret shortcuts room at Hexside, blushing at every interaction they had because even after all this time, Raine was still Raine. Her Rainstorm. It was like she was starting over, like the last 20 years had faded away, except they hadn’t. Because Luz and King were competing in a race that she needed to be there for. Her past and her present were all different types of painful but finding Raine like this again gave her so much hope! Until she realized she wouldn’t see the end of that race, not if it meant stopping Belos. And she was ready for that, ready for the pain to just stop already, but Raine wouldn’t let her.

Losing Raine again was so much worse the second time. But what they said stayed with her and Eda needed to get back to King and Luz. So when she got back and discovered they’d lost, of course her first thought was to help them. Anything to take her mind off of what she’d just lost. And when King announced that he wasn’t leaving at all, he was legally changing his name? She was “stuck” with him forever? That was too much and she just couldn’t hold it in anymore. Someone wasn’t leaving her. In fact he was legally binding himself to her. No one was leaving, at least not any time soon. Eda definitely still cried more that night after King and Luz had gone to bed.

In the future, Eda and Raine agree to start from scratch: Eda explains the curse to them in detail, all the things she’s learned about it over the years and specifically with Luz and King and Hooty’s help. She explains that Lilith was the one that gave it to her to begin with and why (Raine is appalled like???? Raine specifically worked with Lilith in that last year before they had been made head of the Bard Coven?? And Lilith showed maybe irritation at best at the mention of Eda, so like?? What the fuck???). Eda also explains how she’s come to accept the curse as something that’s part of her and the history the Owl Beast has that she got a glimpse of which is super intriguing to Raine. Also Harpy Eda was a thing which was maybe the most surprising part of it all.

Raine in the meantime tells Eda about their time working their way up the ranks of the Bard Coven, how they met each of the BAtTs and recruited them, the façade they had to maintain to stay on track to become the head of the Bard Coven (something that greatly impressed Eda given Raine’s history with being an awkward actor).

Eda introduces Raine to Luz and King to which both of them start shooting rapidfire questions at them and overwhelm them pretty quickly. Eda has to shoo the two away before Raine just bursts out laughing, saying something about how they’re definitely Eda’s kids (all of them blush while Raine is laughing). Luz is just as fascinated with Raine’s Bard magic as Eda was when they first met and the similarities between the two are striking. Raine tells Eda as much later on and Eda begins gushing about what a great apprentice Luz is and everything she’s done during her time on the Boiling Isles.

They fall easily back into dating once they reconnect properly and everything’s calmed down a little - Raine will still be humming a piece they’re working on and suddenly grab Eda and begin dancing to the tune, Eda laughing the whole time and making their heart soar. Eda will still play with Raine’s earring when they’re cuddled up together just chatting. Raine will start asking Eda again for her opinion on musical pieces they’re working on and Eda will make suggestions along with some jokes or snide commentary. They both still love watching the clouds overhead on their hill, sometimes playing music, sometimes just holding hands.

Raine loves watching Eda interact with Luz and King. They love watching how easily Eda loves them and how much she’s changed since they first broke up. Once they’re alone together, in a moment total admiration for how far they’ve come, Raine tells Eda they love her. Eda immediately kisses them and starts crying, repeating Raine’s words back to them and mumbling about how she’ll never let Raine leave ever again.

A canon Non-binary love interest to a main character that uses They/Them pronouns??? In my kids cartoon???? It’s more likely than you think.

Anyways I fucking love Raine and I love how much Eda and Raine love each other and I can’t wait to see what ends up happening with Them™️

[nilnether]

My general rule for this is that if character embodies some popular/cool/resonating tropes and is underdeveloped it's going to generate fandom. If they are dead and generic/underdeveloped it's even better because they can be filled with whatever favourite character traits people would like them to have (Neteyam is notoriously OOC). They are your toys now.

And, of course, they are prefect for shipping. Canon no longer can hurt you there. I saw your new post (just replying here first) and I feel for the person who wants Spider with a male Metkayina. It's like Finn and Poe Dameron and Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes and can only end in disappointment. You are right, it's so very unlikely Disney would have a main character in their biggest current franchise be not straight (also Jack was like 12 when he filmed A3 with other actors - there is no way there will be any romance stuff until after time jump in A4). But if you ship Neteyam canon no longer applies. It's your AU and you're calling all the shots. You are not going to see the hopes dashed on screen. And if it's popular enough it can almost feel like canon.

And yes, we all do it. Speculating on what happens next makes fandom fun. And it's so cool when your theory proves to be true. But some things are more likely then others. That Spider one seems pretty likely since there are so many different sources for that particular development (and so many people were imaging this for Spider even before spoiler it seems a lot of people find it likely already). All of the shipping ones seem pretty unlikely (Spider/Kiri is probably the likeliest but it's still like half/half and not before time jump). But even things that seem likely may not come to be and willingness to admit it is saves you a lot of heartache.

My pet theory since seeing the movie is that Spider will become something I call Holy Ground for Quaritch and Jake. It references the Highlander franchise when the characters kill each other in combat for power but are not allowed to do it on holy ground so the heroes and villains can talk without killing each other. If it just sets up the final fight or leads to cooperation depends on story. I figured that the change from Spider being adopted to him being stuck in limbo of not quite belonging anywhere was to keep him in that middle ground (and I don't think he's been adopted at the end of A2 - he still seems to be not quite there as he attends the funeral with the family but lacks the mourning stripe they have). I think in Avatar's case it may help humans and Na'vi relations and ability to see the other side as more than just enemy. Spoilers seem to back me up on this one too. But I could be totally wrong about all or parts of it.

There is always a chance that the author of the story will stumble and the story will loose luster for you and leave you with only your headcanons. Or they try to change something because of leaks or people just figuring it out and it can be very detrimental (Game of Thrones showed what happens when they go for shock value instead of story telling). But Cameron doesn't seem to be that kind of storyteller and it looks like he knows exactly what story he wants to tell so I doubt he'll change it because of that. And he certainly knows how to tell stories.

There are always things you would love to be explored (I would love exploration of identity for recoms as manufactured beings but I know this is not that kind of story) or hate to see in fiction (I was so against Rey/Kylo Ren as I hate those tropes but that wasn't what destroyed the Star Wars sequels for me) but ultimately when it's not your sandbox you have to live with what the author chooses. If you are prepared to let go of your headcanons it's much easier to enjoy the story as is. And then fill in the blanks. I'm really hoping that since Cameron has the whole arc already planned it's going to be as engrossing as it was so far.

Which recoms do you think Spider bonded with the most? What would some of their interactions look like? Would Spider ever try to pry embarrassing information about Quaritch from them, would he ask about his mom, or just joke around?

I've seen a lot of fanfics, both AUs and canon universe, that expand on Spider's relationship with the other recoms, and that's really great and fun to explore, especially when Wainfleet becomes like an uncle to him.

But to be completely honest, if we're talking canon to the story of Avatar, I don't think Spider really had much of a relationship with any of the recoms other than Quaritch even though he did spend a lot of time with them. At the end of the movie, when Wainfleet shot Neteyam, Spider was running right next to him, and Wainfleet didn't seem to care if he hit him at all. Then after Neteyam's death, there's another brief scene where Wainfleet has a clear shot at Jake, but Spider is standing in front of him and would get caught in the crossfire. Wainfleet was ready to shoot Jake even if it meant hitting Spider too, and he only stopped because Quaritch told him to. And then right after that, Spider showed Jake where to ambush the recoms on the boat with zero hesitation. Spider didn't kill any recom himself, but his help made it a lot easier for Jake and Neytiri to almost wipe out the whole squad.

They spent months with each other, but when it came down to it, Spider and the recoms were willing to kill each other. Quaritch was the only exception, and even then, he had a long moment of hesitation before he could admit to himself that he did love spider more than he hated Jake. So even though in the og script and deleted scenes, we see Spider make fun of the recoms a little bit, I don't think Spider ever got comfortable enough with them to joke around or ask about such a sensitive topic like his mom.

Sorry if this is a boring answer, but I'm trying to stick to canon. And even though I don't think it's realistic to canon, I still LOVE fics that flesh out the recoms' relationship to Spider more! Fics are for bending canon anyway!

[swanqueensalad]

Is your question thingy still on? if so, would you rate top10 episodes to watch if you want swanqueen :)

ahhh this is such a good question!! and my ask box is literally always open for anything, i love chatting with y'all <3

this is Not a comprehensive list, just ten great ones that come to mind (plus two bonus ones and a lot of rambling bc, as always, i got carried away).

i've tried to put them in chronological order for the show!

1. a land without magic (1x22)

don't get me wrong, there's a lot of incredible swan queen episodes in season one (the pilot, desperate souls, that still small voice) but the content in finale just does something to me man...

emma pinning regina against the wall, the intensity of the confrontation and regina admitting everything, the way they're instantly a TEAM despite all that fury and heartache because henry comes before anything else, the literal entire sequence paralleling charming fighting maleficent and saving snow to emma fighting maleficent and saving regina, i -

2. broken (2x01)

feel like this a bit of a rogue one since, again, s2 has lots of good stuff, but there's a LOT going on in the premiere! emma promising to protect regina for henry (which we know develops into this kind of sacred oath she fulfils at her own peril over and over throughout the years) and being so attentive to her, saving her from the mob, helping her to her feet, human-shielding her, and the look on regina's face when emma's touch restarts her magic and opens a portal to another realm - the literal requirements for 'true love'. so, so good.

3. the cricket game (2x10)

a classic. emma starting to not only see but fight for the woman regina really is. this strange developing trust and respect, the desire to not be enemies for a brief second before it goes wrong again.

4. and straight on til morning (2x22)

i will never be able to scream enough about the sq development in the s2 finale. regina being the most vulnerable and herself in front of emma, begging her to let her die as herself because she knows she's the only one who could understand and grant her that - and emma not letting her, emma jumping in and finding their shared magic together for the first time to save each other and everyone else. emma speechless, seeing everything regina feels for henry.

also "you might not be strong enough but maybe we are" is one of my favourite swan queen lines, because i think it just sums up the whole ship!

5. going home (3x11)

jumping to the 3A finale, what can i say? once again, as always when it comes to henry, they are a team above all else. the group hugs, henry calling them 'mom, mama', emma being a human shield again, regina whispering her name as she wakes up, ready to give emma everything she ever wanted for herself and their son.

the incredibly intimacy and intensity of their goodbye and all those things unsaid and unfinished between them. *chefs kiss*

6. breaking glass (4x05)

ok so despite the stupid frozen arc, season 4 is actually one of my favourites for swan queen content, bc you have emma promising to give regina a happy ending in the premiere and seeing that all the way through to sacrificing herself for her in the finale. and that's what dreams are made of.

i specifically mention breaking glass bc there's so much sq screen time. emma is gutted that regina thinks she'll never have her back, literally follows her around all episode trying to prove the opposite (in the same way hook follows her around lmao), elsa telling emma not to give up on her.

and there's that gorgeous scene where emma is so honest with her about the two of them having something special and unique and different from what they have with anyone else, and that hopeful 'it's a start' ... i ...

7. operation mongoose (4x22)

what would be a list of top tier swan queen episodes without the climax of all that 'fighting for her happiness' - the saviour sacrificing herself to the darkness to save regina. this was truly the peak of ouat i swear to go d

also lots of nice stuff in the alternate reality with emma, henry and regina!

(before i move on from season 4 i do have to mention bonus episode: lily - emma's super gay fucking backstory, regina telling her she needs her, the first (?) swan queen road trip!, regina talking emma down from shooting lily/beating up that dude because she believes so strongly in emma's goodness)

8. dreamcatcher (5x05)

i remember after this episode came out, there was a post circulating of a bunch of c$ fans saying they were literally worried sq was becoming canon/getting undeniable.

so yeah. everything in this episode is pure gold. the swan mills family dynamics, regina trusting emma with her most painful memory, emma crying over the dreamcatcher, and that deliciously tense argument on regina's porch that was so electric it made sq feel inevitable. ('don't miss swan me, we've been through too much' is another favourite line!)

9. only you (5x22)

swan queen road trip, them being married af the whole time plus regina once again being her most open and vulnerable with emma? what more do you need

10. wish you were here (6x10)

this is another episode i don't think i can ever scream about enough - there's just so much to unpack! firstly, emma becoming enfuriated and attacking the evil queen because she's upsetting regina. secondly, regina thoughtlessly wishing to be sent after emma to get her back. thirdly... emma swan waking herself up from a curse and remembering who she is, sparking her own magic back to life, because even in her most cursed unknowing state she had to save regina mills.

how do you ever get over that (also they're so soft together once emma's awake, i...)

honorable mentions go to

enter the dragon (4x15) - for regina's gay backstory with mal, emma being insanely protective of regina and literally following her around all night super unhappy about her being in danger ('if i see anything i don't like i will come in blazing' oof) all the while regina is doing it to protect emma in return, jesus christ -

birth (5x08) - purely for the scene at the well where regina begs emma to tell her why she's hanging on to the darkness (aka begging emma to admit she loves her, while emma is being super repressed but they both know that's what they're talking about)

i'll be your mirror (5x08) - for all that good married sq teamwork content in the mirrorworld, regina admitting she's scared to raise henry alone and emma promising to always be there and never let anything bad happen, and the softness and tenderness of them watching him dance with violet and realising they've done such a good job together... i'm so weak bruh

[captain-kelli]

Could’ve Fooled Me

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: It takes almost losing you before Steve admits how he feels. Never mind that he was the one who told the HYDRA agent to kill you.

Word Count: 678

A/N: Angst/fluff, indeed. Canon level violence. I really have no idea? I don’t do this whole “writing” thing anymore. Thank you to @southerngracela​ for the prompt!

“I wanted to know if you were okay.” 

Even though the business end of a pistol was shoved into your temple, you refused to flinch. His bicep dug deep into your windpipe making it difficult to breathe, but you didn’t gasp for air. And when he spoke, his breath left a trail down your neck that made your body want to shiver, but you managed to stand still.

Every second that the HYDRA agent used you as a human shield, you kept your eyes set on Steve. Somewhere in his expression, you searched for a reason to believe you’d survive this mission. A reason to remain calm. As was frequently the case with Steve, you were left wanting.

Instead of coming to your defense, Steve’s hand lowered the gun Natasha had trained on your captor. Her look of disdain and the single tear falling down your cheek did nothing to change his mind.

“You’ll have to kill her because there’s no way we’re letting you walk out of here.”

The nonchalance and detachment of Steve’s words made the gun’s muzzle shake as the agent’s nerves began to fray. You were nervous, too. Not about dying, that was always a job risk. No, you were worried you read it all wrong. After countless missions by his side, you thought Steve might’ve felt the same way you did. 

Apparently not.

For reasons untold, the HYDRA agent decided not to kill you and instead threw you into the ground before attempting his great escape. He didn’t get very far, of course, before Natasha put a slug directly between his eyes. It was a quick end to an incredibly long five minutes.

The flight back to the compound was quiet. Your disappointment paired with Natasha’s anger made for a particularly tense ride, one that Steve didn’t seem eager to lighten. You didn’t press it.

When you finally arrived back to New York, Natasha insisted you check into the med bay. Looking down at the splattering of injuries that covered your body, you put up little fight. Perhaps there you could nurse your pride, too.

It wasn’t until well after midnight that he finally showed up. After he showered and changed, probably after he wrote the mission report, too. He leaned against the door as you wiped away the evidence of your heartache off your face.

“What do you want, Steve?”

Your tone was tired, frustrated. A bit empty. That seemed to sting more than the very real possibility of a HYDRA agent killing you before his eyes.

“I wanted to know if you were okay.”

His voice was quiet as he kicked off the door frame to make his way to you. Before he could reach the bed, you muttered, “I’m fine,” turning on your side. 

The mattress sunk under his weight as he sat down next to you and it made you tremble. His hand gently rubbed your shoulder, making you sharply inhale, all but holding your breath. And when he uttered his next words, goosebumps crawled all over your body.

“I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you, Y/N. I care about you too much.”

Far from detachment now, Steve longed for you to understand, but you couldn’t. Peering over your shoulder, you retorted. “Could’ve fooled me.”

Done wasting time, Steve was quick to prove it to you. He leaned down and softly brushed his lips against yours. When you remembered to breathe again and began to smile, he deepened the kiss for good measure. 

Left wanting no more, your body turned to welcome him. With hands at the back of his neck, you pulled him closer, forgetting all about your near death experience. 

After a time, Steve stood to leave. “Get some rest agent, you owe me a mission report first thing in the morning.”

The wink didn’t go unnoticed, so you volleyed back. “Should I include the part where you told the guy to kill me?”

Nearly into the hall, a hand clinging to the door, he grinned. “Only if you include the part about how I never would’ve actually let him do it.”

[nancywheelxr]

i'm not sure if you prefer more specific prompts but if you have any interest, something canon-era (compliant or divergence) in the realm of "ye baiyi & every- or anyone"? whichever characters you wanna include; a moment or moments where he feels like maybe there is a little more to the rest of his life than duty and death. it's not only warm food he's been starved of for decades. your writing is great, i hope you're having a good day!

hi! thank you sm! i love getting prompts regardless, honestly, the only difference is that more specific ones tend to get done faster if only bc I already have a loose idea where to go with it! anyway, this somehow turned into a fix-it. that being said, I hope you’re having a lovely day too!

*

i.

They’re so painfully young.

A bird chirps in a tree somewhere nearby and around the fire, Qin Huaizhang’s disciple throws the blanket on the Wen brat’s face. What set off his sensibilities this time, Ye Baiyi doesn’t know, it might have been the perceived coddling, it might have simply been the fussing– either way, it’s pointless. Does he not know the brat will simply wait until he’s asleep to cover him? Does he not know their ridiculous dance around each other is nothing but time wasted?

How do the young ever get anything done?

Foolish. Have they ever been that foolish? Changqing, he knows, was a most ridiculous man with even more ridiculous ideas– who’s the bigger idiot, then, the fool or the one who loves him? 

“Ye-qianbei,” the boy appears at his side, wide-eyed like a newborn deer and with legs as shaky as one too, “if you’re cold, we have more blankets.”

The absurdity of the situation– to ask Ye Baiyi if he’s cold! What’s the night chill compared to the snowy grounds of his mountain? To him, is this not warm weather? “Little fool,” he says, shaking his head even as he laughs, “you’d do better worrying about your idiot master and his idiot friend.”

The kid looks across the fire, grimaces. “I don’t dare, I don’t dare! My brothers used to tell me not to get in the way when my parents were arguing!”

What a ridiculous child. Ye Baiyi laughs again. “They’re not arguing, they’re being dumb. Watch this,” he flicks a little rock at them, hitting Qin Huaizhang’s disciple in the forehead and earning an outraged glare from the Wen brat. “Qing Huaizhang’s disciple, your disciple is freezing off while you’re fooling around. Is this how you the two of you are going to raise your child?”

Beside him, the kid makes a startled little noise like a scared little rabbit before launching into a stuttering denial, but it’s too late, Qin Huaizhang’s disciple has already turned to focus on him as if smelling blood. “Chengling, are you cold? Why didn’t you say so?”

“Ah, no, no, I’m really not,” he tries, but he is, he wouldn’t have known to worry about others if he hadn’t been feeling the chill himself. “Ye-qianbei! Ye-qianbei–”

“Ah, ah!” Wen Kexing interrupts, shaking a finger in his direction, “why are you calling him? Come here, have this blanket since your Shifu is being stubborn.”

The boy goes obediently, shuffling around and nearly tripping on the log, and allows the Wen brat to wrap the blanket around his shoulders. Predictably, once he’s tucked in, the kid beams, pulling it tightly around himself. 

“Chengling, if you’re cold, you have to tell us,” says Qin Huaizhang’s disciple as if that’s a scolding, as if he’s not fussing over the child himself, stoking the fire and throwing in more kindling. 

A silly child with even sillier parents. Ye Baiyi snorts, shaking his head, and for a fleeting moment, he imagines walking this path alone– searching for the truth on his own, a silent forest stretching all the way to Longyuan Cabinet, only his footsteps left behind to prove he was even there at all– whatever. Picking up Qin Huaizhang’s dumb disciple and his dumb companions might not have been his worst decision so far. 

Maybe he could have found the place already if he were on his own, but at the very least they’re entertaining. Ridiculous, he thinks fondly, shaking his head at the blanket the kid has left folded at his feet.

*

ii.

What a mess.

Rong Xuan, you little brat, he thinks. How long has it been since the boy had first toddled up to him, little hands grabbing fistfuls of his robes? Too many, an eternity, and now nearly all of the boy’s friends are dead, all but one, and Ye Baiyi has to pay his respects to this freshly dug grave in his place. 

What a mess.

If you were in trouble, why didn’t you come back? Questions, questions, it’s too easy to ask them now. Why didn’t you ask for help? Why didn’t you send for us? Why did you think it would accomplish, running away? Stupid child, did you think we would turn you away? 

No, there’s no use asking them now, no point in dwelling in the past. What is there to change, after it already happened? Life is a very long road and the past is a land too distant to travel back to; Ye Baiyi would rather focus on the now.

Avenging their child had not been part of the promise he made to Changqing, but Ye Baiyi found the truth of this matter as he told him he would and the truth of it is that someone poisoned his disciple, his child. This cannot go unpunished, so for a while longer, he’ll live.

Further still, a little ways down, is Wen Kexing, whose parents died for Rong Xuan’s mistakes. A child growing up in a harsh world on his own. This debt, he’ll repay too.

For all that he gives his promises away like currency, Ye Baiyi is not sure how he feels about the piling of them– they stretch his finally numbered days, always pushing the deadline further. After the Heroes Conference, he’ll be done with the Ghost Valley. After he finds Rong Xuan’s murderer, he’ll be done with this mess. After he repays Wen Kexing, he will be at peace. 

And then–

Well. And then wine. Warm food. That was the plan, was it not? Heavens, he’s beginning to sound like Qin Huaizhang’s silly disciple, isn’t he? This won’t do. Changqing, even you would laugh at them. Tell me, then, if you were here, what would you do? Ah, something nonsensical, most likely, like go watch the plum trees bloom.

Ye Baiyi shakes his head, laughs. Changqing ah, won’t you tell me what to do? Maybe this time I’ll listen to you.

*

iii.

What kind of nonsense is this?

In all fairness, as much as his opinion of Wen Kexing has been as changing as the seasons, his uncanny ability to be an annoying nuisance has never flickered. He was annoying when he was staring down Ye Baiyi’s sword and he was annoying when he kneeled on the forest bed in apology and plea. 

Surely, it’s no surprise that he is annoying now, allegedly dead.

And yet, Ye Baiyi had not anticipated this level of stupidity from him: the brat did not tell Qin Huaizhang’s disciple of his plan.

Children, honestly. 

Now, the hem of his robes is wet and a few feet away, Qin Huaizhang’s disciple is wasting perfectly good wine in an unnecessarily dramatic manner. “Whatever stupid thing you’re planning,” Ye Baiyi says, eyeing the broken jar by the rocks, the dullness around the brat, “don’t.”

Zhou Zishu whirls on him with all the grace of a dying wet cat as if he’s in any condition to be fighting anyone, as if his hands weren’t shaking and his steps didn’t falter. The sword, once elegant and proud, wavers. Stupid boy. “Ye Baiyi, you–”

“Have you lost your manners down that jar? Or just your common sense? Put that away before I knock it off your hand myself,” he sighs, shaking his head. He should have stayed in his rooms, like planned, until the Heroes Conference; none of this has anything to do with him, his role in this play is mostly over, he just has to wait it out the intermission. And yet. “What kind of nonsense were you thinking? That fool, Wen Kexing, ran around for days like a headless chicken trying to save you and for what? You to throw it away?”

“What’s the point?” Qin Huaizhang’s disciple laughs, cold as the mountains, “what’s the point if he’s not here? Tell me, qianbei, why should I care to live if my soulmate is gone?”

His sword is dragging up the mud and Ye Baiyi wants to call him disrespectful for it, but the sight of it alone dredges up a well of grief that drowns the words in his throat. Why, indeed. This terrible emptiness, Ye Baiyi knows well– the hollow silence that comes where once a familiar voice called your name, the cold where once there was warmth, a hand never reaching back. Snow, all through summer and spring.

“Because that dumb disciple of yours will not last a day on his own,” he tells him, watching the water run towards the cliff’s edge, “because Qin Huaizhang has only you to pass on his legacy. Because that ridiculous hairpin on your head.”

“That’s not fair,” Qin Huaizhang’s disciple says, sounding exactly like he had been about to do something incredibly stupid earlier that would render this entire charade pointless from the start.

Truth be told, few things are, least of all, fate. Ah, but Ye Baiyi had unchanging decades to come to terms with that, perhaps he should spare the boy the heartache, unfounded as it is. “It’s not, but enough is enough. What are you crying for? Did you think it’s that easy to get rid of that pest? He should be ashamed if a little tumble is all it took.”

“Qianbei… you mean?”

Ye Baiyi heaves a pointedly tired sigh. “Yes, yes, the brat is alive. Probably holed up somewhere in that blasted valley of his.”

Qin Huaizhang’s disciple is as wide-eyed as his baby-deer disciple and if he actually starts crying, Ye Baiyi will drag Wen Kexing out of hiding kicking and screaming just to push him down the cliff again for making him witness this. He’s too old, he has little patience for the dramatics of the young, and he’s supposed to be drinking the best wine from the Yueyang area. 

So before he’s pulled even further into their nonsense, Ye Baiyi turns away, back to town and his quarters where he can drink and meditate in peace and really, Qin-xiaozi, your disciple is even sillier than you. 

At his back, he hears Zhou Zishu call, but his voice is lost to the waterfalls and Ye Baiyi makes no real effort to catch the words. What’s there to say? Pah, he’s already done more than his share on this, at no point did he promise to intervene on their pointless little dance. Once this is all over, that brat has better pay for all the wine in the land. And make those dumplings, too, for good measure.

*

iv.

Nobody told him whose wedding this is.

Considering they are in this thrice-damned place, he’s assuming it’s one of the ghosts, but Ye Baiyi figures the brat would be more annoying if it was his and Qin Huaizhang’s disciple’s. Then again, his own presence here is unfathomable, as is the insistence with which the little idiot had asked him to come. What on earth has Qin Huaizhang’s disciple told that child? Give someone an inch and they’ll take a mile, truly– now that boy is running around thinking Ye Baiyi cares about these lunatics.

“Who let him in!” Wen Kexing is screeching from somewhere, and Ye Baiyi mourns his peace as the brat approaches with his purple shadow trailing after. Had she been there this entire time? He squints. No, he would have noticed it, she’s very loud. “Old toad monster! Why are you still here? Who allowed you past the gates?”

“Who are you to tell me where to go?” He scoffs, flicking his sleeves as he crosses his arms. Nearby, a ghost hastily scurries away. “And it was your dumb disciple who begged me to be here. For what? Will there even be a banquet? And you call that decorations? That lantern is so crooked, it’s offensive!”

The purple child bristles. “Ah! And who does that silly boy think he is, inviting people to my wedding! Old man, you! Of course there’s gonna be food! Master and Luo-yi have been–”

“A-Xiang!” The brat cuts her off, closed fan tapping her forehead, as if everyone and their grandmothers don’t already know he’s been running around making preparations. What face is there to save, shameless as he is? If Ye Baiyi was a lesser man, he might have rolled his eyes. “Stop running your mouth, what is your husband going to say? And you! What crooked lantern? You’re going blind in your age!”

Still, even as he speaks, a pointed glare sends the ghosts scattering like mice, rushing to check on the decorations. Ridiculous. “No wonder the girl has no manners. What, you only know how to be polite when asking for something?”

Wen Kexing grumbles. “This one apologizes, qianbei.”

Well, that’s certainly worse. Unsettling. If even Wen Kexing starts being deferential, then what has the world come to? No, Ye Baiyi finds he’d prefer the brashness. Stupid child, what’s the point in changing his tune now? Pah. “Girl,” he says to that purple wisp of a thing, “your master is a pest. Where’s the wine?”

Baffling enough, the girl laughs, tugging at her master’s sleeves. “Master, master, Zishu-ge was right! You did make a friend!”

“What nonsense is this! Don’t you know when A-Xu is teasing? Friends! As if–”

“What rubbish have you been filling these children’s heads with?” He shakes a threatening finger in their direction. Not that it matters, considering the girl has already stepped back, giggling as she sidesteps Wen Kexing’s fan. 

Leaving them to their childishness, Ye Baiyi slips out of the crowd, picking a jar of wine as he goes. The alcohol is good, burning down his throat, and he hadn’t thought he’d step foot in the Ghost Valley, not like this. Something in him will always recoil at this place, always lay the blame at the valley’s mouth, a yawning jaw that’s swallowed whole the people most precious to him with no mercy. 

And yet, Changqing ah, you bastard, look at it. They’re holding a damned wedding, and here Ye Baiyi is, drinking their wine. Are you happy now? Did you become a bodhisattva yet? Fate makes fools of them all, there’s no way around it. He pours the wine over the rocks, lets it spill and run like blood. Xuan’er, did I not tell you not to climb so high? That shifu wouldn’t always be there to catch you if you slip on the ice? Ye Baiyi laughs at the memory– always clear in his mind, suspended in time, unfading, even if his sight blurs with tears– that boy, always scaring them half to death, climbing up the frozen mountainside as a child, then crying in fright once he looked down. 

“Look at the mess you’ve both left me,” he says out loud, downing the rest of the wine, and the silence is never quite as loud as in the hollow space where another would speak. For so long, Ye Baiyi knew to leave room for Changqing’s teasing, for their child’s incessant questions, even Rong-furen’s tired voice. Then, nothing. “What do you have to say for yourself, hm? Typical. I’ll drink for all of us this time, then, how about it? Changqing, I’m keeping my promises, so you’d better keep yours or I’ll–” 

The jar breaks where it falls from his fingers and he shakes his head as if dispelling the murky thoughts from his head. Perhaps, coming here was a mistake. The ashes have already been sent back to Changming, so what business does he have in this place? To see it closed with his own eyes? Besides, a wedding or two, a handful of people, are not worth the bloodshed creating the valley has brought, no matter what Changqing might say. 

Is this a comforting story to be told later, if– by the bridge, in case– 

His thoughts grind to a halt, veering off suddenly into attention to his surroundings. Someone is coming. Indeed, from his place near the entrance, Ye Baiyi can see in the distance a mob climbing up the path, silent as thieves in the night, with only a blue streak of disciples in plain sight at the front.

So much for avoiding bloodshed. Did they even wait for the dust to settle after the monks left town? And what kind of harebrained scheme is this? Has this generation been born with no brains? Such a reckless, petty move! No honor, agreeing to something and then plunging the knife behind their backs. 

There is little time to curse their dishonesty, though, with their numbers fast approaching, so Ye Baiyi swipes a last look at the desolate landscape and slips back inside to sound the alarms. After all, heaven knows that little purple girl will be terribly loud if she doesn’t get her wedding, and Ye Baiyi is not looking forward to remembering what headaches feel like. Honestly, if these people would stop nearly dying for five fucking minutes–

*

v.

Today, the mirror showed a new patch of white hair, faint lines at the corner of his eyes. 

Time, it seems, is catching up to him.

It’s exhilarating.

The plum trees have already lost their blossoms, winter gone as swiftly as it came, the cold melting to the lingering warmth of spring. Today, he walks past blooming azaleas, purple and red radiant against the blue backdrop of the sky.

It brings him to little Qin Huaizhang standing beside Rong Xuan, trying so very hard to impress his friend’s seniors with all the desperation of youth. The poetry he had waxed about his sect’s gardens– Four Seasons Manor, blooming all year round! Ye Baiyi had found him so silly, blabbering while Rong Xuan beamed, so quick to pick the fights Rong Xuan dropped. 

At the time, had he not thought history was repeating itself, if kinder? The Baiyi sword, gifted with the promise to keep his dumb disciple out of trouble? He still remembers Changqing’s face, the hypocrite. So exchanging swords for cursed books is fine, but anything else and you draw the line? At least promises were as reliable as the person making them. 

Now, he has to admit, the silly boy had not been wrong– Four Seasons Manor stands in more color than Ye Baiyi had thought possible. If he’ll have time to witness all its blooms, he doesn’t know, but this spring, he’s here, and isn’t that enough?

At the gates, the young disciple lets him in without a word, bowing respectfully like his seniors have never done. Good. At the very least, those two good-for-nothing brats had the decency to forewarn their juniors of his arrival. How long has it been since Qin Huaizhang’s disciple woke up from the procedure? Aiyah, Ye Baiyi can’t remember, he had been traveling south at the time. 

Well, it’s long enough to be past the need for coddling, that’s for sure. “Qin Huaizhang’s disciple, what kind of Sect Leader are you that you won’t come greet your esteemed guest?”

“Not really a Sect Leader,” comes the voice from his left as Zhou Zishu rounds into view, his silly disciple trailing faithfully after him. He looks better now, death no longer draped over his shoulders like a shroud, smiling like he found peace somewhere in the months since that disastrous wedding. “Qianbei, this one is honored to welcome you to our house. You’ve come at a good time, A-Xiang is visiting with her husband too.”

“Who’s an esteemed guest here? All I’m hearing is a bunch of freeloaders!” says Wen Kexing from somewhere inside the building, just as loud and brash as always, and following his words, the thundering footsteps of children. 

Ye Baiyi snorts, shakes his head. Changqing ah, wait a little while longer, will you? I’m on my way, but I have some places to visit first. Meet me by the bridge, I’ll tell you all about it in a bit.

[princessfbi]

Can you break down Bobby?

I would love to!

Best Buddy Bobby Nash coming right up!

How I feel about this character

I love Bobby! I was explaining to a friend who doesn't watch 911 that my love for the main characters is kind of like a pyramid. Bobby's on the lower level but without him the rest would crumble which I think speaks huge volumes of just how well done the characters are on this show. I love his humor and wish we saw more of it. I love how present he is in a scene even if he only says a few words. I love how we can go several episodes without having a real storyline with him but the moment we do, we're immediately right back into those feelings. I love his solution to all of the heartache is to offer ice cream. He's my Midwestern bean and I love him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Athena all the way. I love that we get to see how comfortable they are with each other but I also love their storyline this season. I love how strong Athena is but I do love that we got to see the perspective of what it is like to be the partner to someone that fierce and independent without villainizing Athena in the process. Bobby didn't feel like he was a part of that partnership. This was another case of someone not feeling like they were heard but in this case, we got to see those feelings being validated, discussed, and processed. When a relationship hits a miscommunication bump, it doesn't automatically mean someone has to be the bad guy which is too often the case in writing. It was refreshing that it could be dealt with in a very authentic, human way.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

GOD! Everyone? I love me some Dad!Bobby feels with Buck. You all know this. But I also love Dad!Bobby feels with Eddie and Chimney too. I love how Hen can be straight up with Bobby and he actually listens to her. I love how Chimney can be open with Bobby in a way he isn't even able to be when he's with Hen. I love how Bobby, who in season one dealt with so much guilt that he thought he was worthless, was proven wrong by these idiots. I love how Bobby is a safe place for people to be open and vulnerable and supported. I think that's why Buck went to the extremes with the lawsuit because up until then he had full faith that Bobby was a completely safe person and space in his life. To be told otherwise just knocked down his confidence to sub level.

This is my problem I have with leader figures. They don't listen. They make executive decisions and fight you when you call them out about it (ie. Steve Rogers vs Tony Stark). The problem with authority figures in me hates watching leader figures just expect everyone to fall in line.

But Bobby, for the most part, doesn't do that. He accepts people for who they are. He anticipates that they'll fall and instead of trying to prevent it (most times because again he falters when it comes to Buck) he waits for them to need him to put them back together. That's why I love those scenes between him and Eddie so much. He doesn't push Eddie to come to him but when he does, he's there unconditionally. I said before that I think Bobby was a person Eddie desperately needed in his life (someone who would accept him for who he is and not judge him or try to change him) but I think this is the case for everyone on the team.

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don't really think it's unpopular (I know it's a popular opinion so it's more of a twist on a popular opinion) but I think Bobby really needs to work on how he handles his double standards with Buck.

BUT

I think those double standards stem from a deep rooted sense of guilt Bobby has in regards to Buck. I think Bobby didn't recognize how deeply rooted Buck's pain was until it was too late. Buck nearly died because of Bobby. And Buck keeps trying over and over to prove to Bobby that he's willing to take the risk of his own life and it stresses Bobby the hell out. Because I don't think Bobby knows how to tell Buck he doesn't need to throw himself on every grenade. But Bobby also doesn't know how to hear that Buck doesn't blame him for the truck bombing either.

I think their deepest disconnect has everything to do with Bobby's guilt and Buck's feeling of (lack there of) worthiness. They don't know how to address those with one another (I don't think Bobby fully understood Buck until Buck Begins and I still don't think Buck understands that Bobby's true frustrations aren't with his recklessness but rather his inability to see that he's someone who is deeply cared for) and until they do learn how to communicate that, I think it will remain a point of miscommunication.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I wish with all my heart that we get to see Bobby address the "You're an important person in my life, Bobby. One of the most important." Like that statement... is huge and you can tell Buck meant every word. But for that to be said to Bobby, a man who thought he failed not only the people he really mattered to (his wife and children and team) but total strangers as well... like... I want to see how Bobby processes that. I want to see Bobby 'Well Buck's not my kid so' Nash handles being told to his face just how much he means to someone. Bobby, albeit quietly, has struggled with feeling like he's important in people's lives. He knows he's important from a distance because when he feels important is when he's on the job. But Bobby struggles constantly to feel wanted and needed by the people in his life outside of the job (see the tension we have with Athena in season 4). I want to see how Bobby deals with Buck straight up saying to his face that he's wanted and needed. Because I think, like Buck, Bobby doesn't know how to hear that and believe it as well.

Give Me A Character and I’ll Break Them Down